I'm Still Bored
by chero666
Summary: What does Sears, Adam West, Power Rangers, and narcolepsy have in common? They have something to do with this fic. PG13 for now for AC, V, and SL
1. First of the Sequel

{Don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! or Pika... she belongs to our friend, Risa ^^}  
  
Chero: "W-wait, wait, wait! Is this..."  
  
HEP: "You're damn right!"  
  
Pika: (starting to sound excited) "So, that means..."  
  
HEP: "CORRECT!!! I am SO bored outta my FUCKING SKULL that I am bringing back the insanity!!!!"  
  
Pika: "YAY!!!!"  
  
Mysterious Crowd: "YAY!!!!!!!!"   
  
Chero: O.O "... where the hell did THEY come from?"  
  
HEP: "You shot who in the whats-now?"  
  
Chero: "Nevermind" -.-  
  
---Explaination---  
  
This is the sequel of my favorite fic that I created, "'cause I'm Bored, That's Why!" Each chapter contains 1 or 2 little short stories that makes no fucking sense! From quack psychiatry to a certain drunken Kaiba... everyone is back, and PLUS there are gonna be newer and funnier skits that I hope you enjoy!!! ^^  
  
---Warning---  
  
Please kids, don't drink and drive while operating heavy machinery that you just happened to have you head stuck into, or smoke next to a gasoline tank... --Chero: "Why?"- -HEP: "Hell if I know..."-- and don't Don't DON'T try any of this crap at home...unless your home is a state penetentury in which means that you ALREADY tried to do this stuff and I am too late, which ALSO means that this warning became useless... (blinks) meh!  
  
HEP: "Hey, guys. Hate to tell ya this, but..."  
  
Pika & Chero: "What?"  
  
HEP: "I renewed Seto's contract." ^^;  
  
Pika: O.O "..."  
  
Chero: "WTF!!" O.o  
  
HEP: "Yeah, sorry..."  
  
Chero: (starts rubbing his temples)  
  
Pika: (shrugs) "Oh well, knew it was too good to be true"  
  
Chero: "Yeah..."  
  
("") - Thoughts (Narroration) - dur!!! ** = Change in Scenario  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
----"I'm Still Bored"-----  
  
by chero666  
  
Setting: (A nearby Bar)  
  
Scene: (Drunken Seto's Return)  
  
(The ambience in the room consists of 1 drunken Millionare, 3 puddles of vomit, and Chero...)  
  
Seto: "... and THAT'S how I created Microsoft! Did you get that?"  
  
Chero: "...huh? Oh, sorry. I was doing something more important than listening to you."  
  
Seto: "What!?! What could be more important than me!?!"  
  
Chero: (holding a jar) "Counting these pickled eggs."  
  
Seto: "..."  
  
Chero: (stares at the jar) "...yep... 2 eggs...2 soggy eggs... pickled... and... soggy..."  
  
Seto: "Um... are you more wasted than I am?"  
  
Chero: "Maybe my little purple friend... maaaaaybeeee..."  
  
Seto: "Alrighty!"  
  
Chero: "Hey, I got a question for ya!!"  
  
Seto: "What?"  
  
Chero: "You wanna do something?"  
  
Seto: "Ummmm... lets see...sure. Whatcha had in mind?"  
  
Chero: "Wanna go and steal people's clothing?"  
  
Seto: "We did that last week"  
  
Chero: "Eat everything at an All-You-Can-Eat resturant and complain that the food sucked?"  
  
Seto: "Nah, I'm on a diet this week"  
  
Chero: "Wanna build a spaceship, blast into space, crash-land on a foreign inhabited planet, and make prank phone calls to the alien race's president?"  
  
Seto: "Nah, too predictable."  
  
Chero: "Ok... lets just tackle the next person that comes in."  
  
Seto: "Sure"  
  
(The two stand on their marks and wait for someone to show up.)  
  
(The door flies open and in walks...Richard Simmons, wearing his tight shorts and creepily odd looking tank top)  
  
Seto & Chero: O.O  
  
Seto: O.o "Ummm... you go first."  
  
Chero: o.O "Ummm... fuck you"  
  
**********************************************************************************************  
  
Setting: (A school's auditorium)  
  
Scene: (A School Announcment)  
  
(All the students enter and take their seat while Pika walks up to the podium)  
  
Pika: "Ok, quiet everyone..."  
  
(Everyone in the auditorium talks louder)  
  
(Pika sighs and pulls out a Walkie-Talkie)  
  
Pika: (into Walkie-Talkie) "Yeah, the kids won't shut up... yeah... sent out the S.W.A.T. team)  
  
--(20 minutes later)--  
  
Pika: "Thank you for you cooperation" ^^  
  
(Half of the children are unconsious and bleeding, while the other half are tied up with duct tape)  
  
Pika: "Now, then. Your principle has an announcment. Here ya go, Chero"  
  
Chero: "Thank you!" ^^  
  
Pika: ^^  
  
Chero: "First, we'd like to tell everyone that today is the school's Spelling Bee and everyone in the building will participate... even the unconsious ones, so don't make that an excuse!"  
  
(The kids walk and are dragged into line... some trying not to slip on the blood from the unconcious ones.)  
  
(The first kid comes up... its Tristan...or Honda... whatever you feel like calling him)  
  
Chero: "Ok, your word is... Park"  
  
Tristan: "Oh, that one's easy. F-... CRAP!!!!!"  
  
(Everyone in the auditorium are laughing at him)  
  
Tristan: (puts head down in shame)  
  
Chero: (trying to defend him) "Stop it, children! You're gonna scar him for life!!"  
  
(The laughing gets louder)  
  
(Tristan walks off, ashamed)  
  
Chero: "Hehe... it IS kinda funny..."  
  
(Next one, Tea)  
  
Chero: "Ok, your word is... Obvious"  
  
Tea: "Can you use it in a sentence?"  
  
Chero: "Yes. 'You are an obvious whore.'"  
  
Tea: "What!?!"  
  
Chero: "Oh, you didn't hear me. Lemme rephrase that. 'You are an obvious dirty-ass, skanky whore'"  
  
Tea: "That's it! I'll kill you!!"  
  
(Tea starts running at Chero, but is smacked in the side of the head with the flat-side of a sword and is knocked unconsious.)  
  
Chero: "Thanks, Pika!" ^^  
  
Pika: (dragging Tea, by her foot, off the stage) "Welcome!!" ^^  
  
(Next, Yugi)  
  
Chero: "Hey Yugi!"  
  
Yugi: "Hey!"  
  
Chero: "You word is... Duel"  
  
Yugi: "D-o-o-l..."  
  
Chero: "Meh, close enough!"  
  
Yugi: "Cool!" (goes to the back of the stage and sits down)  
  
(Next, Joey)  
  
Chero: "Alright, you word is... Serenity!?!"  
  
Joey: "Wow, that's a real word!?!"  
  
Chero: "Apparently"  
  
Joey: "S-e-r-e-n-i-t-y"  
  
Chero: "Correct!"  
  
(Joey sits next to Yugi and they give each other a high-five)  
  
(Next, Mai)  
  
Chero: "Alright, Mai. You word is... Dork"  
  
Mai: "J-o-e-y"  
  
Chero: "Ummm... wow, correct!!"  
  
Joey: "What the hell!!!"  
  
Mai: "See, Joey. I'm NOT a stupid blonde bimbo"  
  
Joey: (stick his tounge out at her)  
  
Mai: "Oh, yeah. That's mature"  
  
Joey: (crosses his arms) "Grrr..."  
  
--(1 hour later)--  
  
Chero: "And the winner is... Mai Valentine!!!!"  
  
Mai: "Wow!"  
  
Joey: "We've been sitting here for about an hour doing nothing. How the hell did she win!!"  
  
HEP: "She's my favorite character"  
  
Pika: "Huh, she is?"  
  
HEP: "Yeah, my second one's Joey."  
  
Tea: (in a wheelchair) "Who's your least favorite?"  
  
Chero: "You."  
  
Tea: "Oh"  
  
(The floor beneath her collapses and she falls into a pit of 10 dozen starving, crazed weasels.)  
  
Joey: "How'd that happen?"  
  
Chero: "Magic, dude... magic."  
  
Pika: (pops out of the hole, with her sword in hand) "And a salary of Sugar!!" ^^  
  
Joey: "Oh..."  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
HEP: "Me like! Me like!"  
  
Chero: "Yeah, that was really fun!!"  
  
Pika: ^^ "And I got my old job back!!!"  
  
Chero: "Yep, R&R"  
  
HEP: "Tell me what you think!!" ^^  
  
Pika: "Please!!!" ^^ 


	2. The greatest sin AKA How does Sears fi...

{YuGiOh! & Pika don't belong to us}  
  
Chero: "Shouldn't we be doing something at the moment?"  
  
HEP: "Yep..."  
  
Chero: "Ok..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "Are people still reading this?"  
  
Pika: "Yeah."  
  
Chero: "Wow, that's dedication!"  
  
Pika: "Was that really nessessary?"  
  
Chero: "No."  
  
HEP: "Should we get started?"  
  
Chero: "Ummmm... one more time..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
HEP: "..."  
  
Chero: "OK!!" ^^  
  
Pika: ^^;  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Setting: (A local Cathedral)  
  
Scene: (Father Chero)  
  
(Chero's in the middle of a sermon)  
  
Chero: "... God will shatter the heads of his enemies... and let those with passports visit the lands of the Pagaens... so that they would bathe their feet in blood!!! As true today, as is was when written. Any questions?"  
  
(A hand rose up)  
  
Chero: 'Yes?"  
  
Man: "Yeah, last week, when we came to baptize our child, you put us out on the street, claiming that we were going to steal your taffy stash."  
  
Chero: "Well, I AM a man who enjoys his taffy." (Takes out a piece of taffy and bites it) "Mmmmm... that's good taffy..."  
  
Man: "But Father, when..."  
  
Chero: (not listening) "...mmmmhmm... yummy... mmh... taffy... Wait! Got a piece stuck... there we go! Mmmm..."  
  
Man: "Father, when should we come in to baptize our child"  
  
Chero: "Ok, since you're ruining my precious taffy moment, I'll be honest with you... me baptizing your child will just garentee it's 'Pooper-Scooping after Hitler' job in Hell. Ok! Now... as I was..." (takes another bite) "...taffy... mmmh..."  
  
(In walks a paniky Seto)  
  
Seto: "Father, I have sinned again!"  
  
Chero: (looks at his watch, rolls his eyes, and groans) "Sure... tell me about it..."  
  
Seto: "I have done something bad!"   
  
-  
  
-  
  
-----------------------  
  
:--Flashback--:  
  
-----------------------  
  
(Seto is on a boat with President Honorable George W. Bush on the front)  
  
George Bush: "I never felt this relaxidated since I was in Germany."  
  
{{A/N: "Relaxidated? Isn't that the feeling you get when you pass out on the toilet? "}}  
  
Seto: (gasps) "He's a NAZI!!"  
  
(Seto and 2 sailors runs at Bush and beat the crap outta him)  
  
--------------------------  
  
:-End Flashback:-  
  
--------------------------  
  
-  
  
-  
  
Chero: O.O "..."  
  
Seto: "..."  
  
Chero: "Soooo... your sin is hanging out with sailors?"  
  
Seto: "To be honest, I don't even know."  
  
********************************************************************************************************  
  
Setting: (Doctor's Office)  
  
Scene: (Dr. Chero, the psychiatrist to the cast)  
  
(Chero just ended his session with Yugi)  
  
Chero: (yelling to him outside the door) "...and remember, lay off the Yoai fanfics for a week and you should be alright!"  
  
Pika: (On the intercom) "Next is... Malik Ishtar"  
  
Chero: "Dammit!! Eighth time today!! Bring 'em in."  
  
(Malik walks in and take a seat)  
  
Malik: "Er...."  
  
Chero: (cuts him off) "FOR THE LAST TIME!!! There is NO SANE WAY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!"  
  
Malik: "Aww... not even..."  
  
Chero: "Nope."  
  
Malik: "Fuck... oh well... back to good, ole' fashioned torture, I guess."  
  
Chero: "That's probably your safest bet."  
  
Malik: "Hey, wanna get an espresso after this?"  
  
Chero: "I got one more appointment."  
  
Malik: "Alright. I'll wait outside in my Hummer"  
  
Chero: "Oh yeah, ever finished paying for that?"  
  
Malik: "Huh? OH! I sent the guy to the Shadow Realm."  
  
Chero: "Ah! I wish I could do that."  
  
Malik: "Want me to do that for you?"  
  
Chero: "Nah, I do my own dirty work."  
  
Malik: "Alright, I'll be outside."  
  
Chero: "Alright, see ya in a sec."  
  
(Malik walks out)  
  
(Tea walks in)  
  
Chero: "Listen, bitch. I DON'T KNOW WHY people don't like you... you probably give off this 'prissy bitch' vibe that reminds people of the type of person they grew up hating."  
  
Tea: "Oh... even HEP?"  
  
HEP: (off screen) "Fuck yeah!"  
  
(You see a sword comming out of the ground in front of Tea and forms a circle around her... yep... back to the pit full of weasels)  
  
Tea: (fades away) "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....."  
  
Pika: (crawls out of the hole) "Do I really hafta be the one to do this all the time?"  
  
Chero: "Nah... its just that the weasel won't attack you."  
  
Pika: "Wonder why not."  
  
Chero: "Maybe because thier diabetics and your blood is 90% sugar."  
  
Pika: "Sounds about right!" ^^  
  
Chero: ^^  
  
(Malik walks back in)   
  
Malik: "Hey, did anyone see my keys?"  
  
(Chero tosses him his keys)  
  
Malik: "Thanks" (sees the hole) "Tea again?"  
  
(Chero and Pika nod)  
  
Malik: "Huh... where did you get those weasels from, anyways?"  
  
Chero: "Sears"  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Chero: "I liked that!!"  
  
Pika: "Me too! Also learned that I have sugar comming through every pore in my body." (licks the back of her hand) "Oooh! This one's chocolate!!!"  
  
Chero: "I'd try it, but it might sound wronger than it really is." ^^;  
  
Pika: "Huh?"  
  
Chero: "Nevermind!" ^^;  
  
Pika: (shrugs) ^^  
  
HEP: "R&R!!!" ^^ 


	3. A strange celebrity cameo

{Don't own ... blah blah blah... you get it!!!}  
  
HEP: "Brainstorm, brainstorm!!!"  
  
Chero: "is it good?"  
  
HEP: "What?"  
  
Chero: "Your idea."  
  
HEP: "Oh, that. I dunno, I haven't thought of one yet."  
  
Pika: ^^; "So what do you feel like doing?"  
  
Chero: "I feel like eating."  
  
HEP: "me too..."  
  
Chero: "Yep, we sure do..."  
  
HEP: "Uh-huh"  
  
Chero: "Yep..."  
  
HEP: "Righty..."  
  
Pika: "Lets just get back to work" ^^;  
  
{A/N: "There are  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Setting: (A school Cafeteria)  
  
Scene: (A Science Fair)  
  
(Its as festive as a Science Fair usually is... not very. -.-)  
  
(Pika is on the podium)  
  
Pika: "Yes, I'd like to start this Science Fair by first thanking the 'Hell's Satans' biker gang for donating the wax for our cafeteria floors."  
  
-  
  
-  
  
:-Cut-Scene-:  
  
Lenny: "Homer, there's something oozing outta your shower drain! What should I do?"  
  
Homer: "Meh, give it away to charity."  
  
:-End Cut-Scene-:  
  
-  
  
-  
  
(5 kids start slipping on the "wax")  
  
Pika: "Now the judges for today are, Me, Principle Cherokia Mistopi, and former Science Fair winner... Adam West?"  
  
{A/N: "If you don't know Adam West... I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL HURT YOU!!!" ^^}  
  
(Adam West walks to the podium)  
  
Adam: "Yes, my friends. I remember when I use to walk through these halls and attend ever Science Fair. I remember my last one I participated in that has changed my life forever..."  
  
-  
  
-  
  
:-Flashback-:  
  
Lil' Adam: "Yes, but its not just ANY science project I have created here. I have divised a body detergeant that NOT ONLY leaves you clean and smelling of peaches... it also doubles as a plastic explosive."  
  
:-End Flashback-:  
  
-  
  
-  
  
Adam: (rubs hands together) "It was almost TOO perfect. Shipping of it will start tomorrow!"  
  
(A few faint clap could be heard)  
  
Chero: O.o "Errr... Adam West went to our school?"  
  
Pika: "I don't think HE even knows."  
  
(The Fair starts up and the judges walk around... judging... dur!!!)  
  
(Chero walks up to Joey with his... whatever the hell it's trying to be...)  
  
Chero: "Alright, Joey, tell me what is the main purpose of this... thingy..."  
  
Joey: "Ok, try to picture this! You could be out one day, hanging out with your sons, maybe throwing the football around, then you see a Hotdog consession stand. You start thinking that you have a strange craving for relish, then, without warning, a pickpocket steals your wallet. You two start going on a 22 minute long chase scene...  
  
**--(30 minutes later)---**  
  
Joey: "... 10 years later, BAM!!! Herpies... huh?"  
  
(Joey looks around and finds out that Chero left 10-minutes ago)  
  
Joey: "...CRAP!!"  
  
(Pika watches Yugi's Experiment)  
  
Yugi: "...and that's how a potato can cure cancer!"  
  
Pika: "Wow, that's pretty impressive, Yugi!"  
  
Yugi: "Thanks!"  
  
(Adam West steps in)  
  
Adam: "Yes, it's good now, but one of these days, you're gonna be staring up in the night's sky, and when the bright lights from the evil race of aliens, the Xenomorphs', Mother Ship's lazer beams are slowly burning away at your ovula, you'd be thinking... did I... or did the the guy in the elevator with me make that smell... and THAT'S when you realize... I have lost my virginity..."  
  
Yugi: O.O  
  
Pika: O.o "Umm... SECURITY!!!!"  
  
(Sercurity pick Mr. West up and throws him outside)  
  
West: "I can see when I'm not needed here..."  
  
(He walks back into the building and is thrown back outside)  
  
West: "I can see when I'm not needed here..."  
  
(He walks back into the building and is thrown back outside... his time, bound and gagged)  
  
West: "M Mmh hMh Mhhm M'h Hm Mhhmmh Mhmm..."  
  
(He crawls back into the building and is rolled back outside)  
  
{A/N: "We all know how this goes for the next hour... so lets see who won the Fair!" ^^}  
  
(The sounds of someone being repeatedly thrown in the background)  
  
Pika: "Alright, the winner is... Y.Bakura for his 'Teletubby Terminator'"  
  
(In walks Y.Bakura with a walking Teletubby)  
  
(The flashing light from the cameras sends the Teletubby on a murderous rampage throughout the school)  
  
Teletubby: "HURT EVERYONE!!"  
  
Pika: "Did Ga-Ga just say 'Hurt everyone?" O.O;;  
  
Chero: (sitting down) "Heh, Ga-Ga. Cute name."  
  
Pika: "What should we do now?"  
  
Chero: "Wanna take an interdementional portal to a nearby Dairy Queen?"  
  
Pika: "Can I order an Banana Split?"  
  
Chero: "Whatever you want."  
  
(Chero pulls out a black-hole and the two jump through the second you see Adam West carrying a mini-gun)  
  
Adam: "I'll teach you rats from stealing my water!" (starts shooting the Teletubby)  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Chero: O.o;;  
  
Pika: ^^;;; "That was... interesting?"  
  
Chero: "Sure, if you wanna call it that."  
  
Adam: (head pops out from a door) "Am I needed here anymore?"  
  
HEP: "No."  
  
Adam: "Then, I'll be outside, enjoying my mineral water." (Takes a gulp) "Mmm...aahhhh..."  
  
HEP: "R&R!!"  
  
Chero: O.o;  
  
Pika: ^^; 


	4. Three Stories this time!

-Don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!-  
  
HEP: "Did I write that right?"  
  
Chero: "How am I supposed to know? I was created as a dorky, girl-crazed idiot."  
  
Pika: "He did a pretty good job on that, too"  
  
Chero: "That was mean"  
  
Pika: "Yep!!" ^^  
  
Chero: -_- "… not cool… meh!!" ^^  
  
HEP: "There's our lovable dumbass."  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Setting: (A bar)  
  
Scene: (After Halloween)  
  
(The wreckage of a party that happened last night. People are throwing up what's left of their kidneys, trying to remember where they lived, and 1 guy is impaled by a pool cue)  
  
Chero: "Well, that was a pathetic Halloween Party"  
  
Seto: "Yeah, only 156 people got wasted… it wasn't even rowdy enough for the Police to send out the Marine Corp."  
  
Chero: "Yeah… that was the first, and hopefully LAST, time that those guys in blue are gonna fuck-up one of MY parties."  
  
Seto: "Yeah, how come we couldn't kick their ass, like your Christmas parties?"  
  
Chero: "Not enough drunks."  
  
Seto: "Oh. Now what do we do?"  
  
Chero: "Wanna steal their wallets and live like Danish King?"  
  
Seto: "Hmm… ok"  
  
---Scene Fast Forward---  
  
Chero: "Well… that was short lived."  
  
Seto: "I can't believe we got overthrown by Keannue Reeves"  
  
Chero: "I guess the anticipation for 'Matrix Revolutions' made him extremely popular nowadays."  
  
Seto: "Oh well… at least we didn't get our ass kicked by a Third-Party System."  
  
Chero: "Yeah, that's a fate worse than death."  
  
Seto: "Huh… is there anyone out there, in the world, who loves me?"  
  
Chero: "There are about 25,000 fan-girls out there who would cut their own mothers just for a chance to glomp you."  
  
Seto: "I said, 'love me,' not 'molest me.'"  
  
*****************************************************************************************************************************  
  
Setting: (On a grassy plane)  
  
Scene: (Moments of Zen)  
  
(Chero, Pika, Seto, Joey, Mai, Yugi, and Y.Bakura are lying on the grass, staring at the night's sky… contemplating the meanings of life.)  
  
Joey: "So… what you're trying to say is that it's actually possible to bite your own face?"  
  
Chero: (with bite marks on his cheek) "Yeah. Want me to demonstrate again?"  
  
Everyone: "No."  
  
Y.Bakura: "Do you think that there's a God?"  
  
Pika: "Most likely"  
  
Mai: "Yeah, or else Joey would've died choking on his tongue by now."  
  
Joey: "Hey, that's not tr- **COUGH!! COUGH!!** -ue."   
  
Y.Bakura: -_- "I see your point."  
  
Mai: "Hmm… how can a person who is always surrounded by people feel so alone?"  
  
Joey: "Maybe they're freaks?"  
  
(Joey finds himself on the receiving end of a boot being thrown at his head)  
  
Joey: #_#  
  
Mai: "Can someone hand me my boot?" ^^  
  
Chero: "Huh… hey, Seto. It's your turn."  
  
Seto: "Hmmm… there's one thing I'm wondering at the moment."  
  
Yugi: "What's that?"  
  
Seto: "We're ALL fictitious characters, right?"  
  
Yugi: "Yes?"  
  
Seto: "Then, how come people put so much heart and trouble into things that'll never say that they appreciate everything that their creators did for them without being told to?"  
  
Everyone: "…"  
  
Chero: "Wow…"  
  
Pika: "That's pretty deep…"  
  
Mai: "Didn't think that you had that in you?"  
  
Seto: "Hmmm…"  
  
(Everyone sat in silence for awhile)  
  
Yugi: "Hey, guys?"  
  
Everyone: "Yeah?"  
  
Yugi: "Where do babies come from?"  
  
Everyone: O.O  
  
**SWOOSH!!**  
  
(Yugi looks around… but finds nothing but dust-clouds in the shapes of the silhouettes of his friends.)  
  
Yugi: "… wow. Why do people do that?"  
  
{A/N: "Based on a true story!! ^^"}  
  
********************************************************************************************************************  
  
Setting: (A TV studio)  
  
Scene: (Setting the mood)  
  
Chero: (the director) "Ok, in this scene, Kaiba is gonna challenge Yugi to a duel."  
  
Yugi & Seto: "Got it!"  
  
Chero: "Alright, once you start to say your lines, I'm gonna cue the dramatic music."  
  
(Everyone gets ready and into positions… or was it the other way around?"  
  
Chero: "Action!!"  
  
Kaiba: "Alright, Yugi. This would be it…"  
  
=Background Music=  
  
"Ah-ah-ah-ah Stayin' Alive! Stayin' Alive! Ah-ah-ah-ah Stayin' Alive…"  
  
=======  
  
Everyone at the studio: O.o;  
  
Chero: "CUT!!!"  
  
Kaiba: "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT CRAP!!"  
  
Music Department: (over an intercom) "Sorry sir. We inserted the wrong tape."  
  
Chero: "Whatever. We'll start over! Everyone, same places! Cue the music at the same place… and… ACTION!!"  
  
Kaiba: "Alright, Yugi. This would be… what the fuck!!"  
  
==Background Music==  
  
"I want to fuck you like an animal! I wanna feel you from the…"  
  
======  
  
Chero: "CUT!!! Who's playing that!?!"  
  
Music Department: "Sorry, sir. It seems that I accidentally brought along my 'Nine Inch Nails' CD with me."  
  
Chero: (Sighs) "Whatever! Try again, at the top! Action!!!"  
  
Kaiba: "Alright, Yu-… AGAIN!?!"  
  
==Background Music==  
  
--Insert "One-Winged Angel" (Sephiroth's Theme) from Final Fantasy 7- -  
  
========  
  
Kaiba: "That's it!! I'll be in my trailer!!"  
  
(Seto walks off)  
  
Chero: (angrily) "Alright! Who's in charge of the Music Department!?!"  
  
(A scrawny man with badly crossed eyes comes out)  
  
Man: "That's me, sir"  
  
Chero: "Who're you?"  
  
Man: "Martin Asshole?"  
  
Chero: "Asshole?"  
  
Martin: "Yes sir!"  
  
Chero: "Who the hell hired him!?!"  
  
(A man behind him, with equally crossed eyes, calls out)  
  
Man: "I did, sir! He's my brother!"  
  
Chero: "You're an 'Asshole' too!?!"  
  
Man: "Yes sir."  
  
Chero: "Who else are 'Asshole's?"  
  
Everyone in the studio, but him and Yugi: "HERE SIR!!!"  
  
Chero & Yugi: O.O  
  
Chero: "…great… I knew it… I'm in a studio surrounded by assholes."  
  
{A/N: "I got this idea from watching a Mel Brookes movie, "Space Balls" ^^}  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Chero: "Wow… you were inspired today!!"  
  
Pika: "Yeah, you wrote more than usual"  
  
HEP: "Wow… by the amount I typed, nobody would every know that my entire weekend sucked ass…"  
  
Chero: "Except for now." -_-  
  
HEP: O.o;  
  
Pika: ^^ "R&R!!"  
  
Chero: ^^  
  
HEP: ^^; 


	5. Two unwanted appearances

HEP: (chewing on a battery) "Me no own Yu-Gi-Oh!"  
  
Roal: "Having fun there?"  
  
HEP: "Indeed!" ^^  
  
Pika: "He got over something, and now he's back to normal... well... HIS normal."  
  
HEP: ^^  
  
Chero: (getting off the phone) "Umm... guys?"  
  
Everyone: "What?"  
  
Chero: "Someone want's a job here."  
  
HEP: "Who?"  
  
Chero: (hands him a note)  
  
HEP: (reads) "... ho... ly... crap...."  
  
Roal: O.o  
  
Chero: "W-what should I tell him?"  
  
HEP: "Well, we DO have an opening for Assisstant Principle in your 'School Segment'"  
  
Chero: "Should I set up an interview?"  
  
HEP: "Probably for the best."  
  
***************************************************************************************************************  
  
Setting: (Principle Chero's Office)  
  
Scene: (The interview from Hell)  
  
Chero: "Lets get this over with... Pika! Ring 'em in"  
  
A Semi-overly dramatic voice behind the door: "I knew you would break one of these days... now tell me... where is my water?"  
  
Chero: (sighs) "People usually WAIT for the person to walk in before they try to start a conversation."  
  
Voice: (becomes quiet for a few seconds) "... seemingly brilliant, boy-wonder."  
  
(In walks... ADAM WEST!?!?!?!? O.O;;;;;)  
  
Chero: "Uugggggghhhh... I thought we got rid of you after the 3rd chapter!?!"  
  
Adam West: "Well, I've been creeping around this building, plotting the time, for which I will come back into the real world..."  
  
Chero: "Real world?"  
  
Adam West: "Yes, my albino chum. I've created a secret alliance with the cockroach people. In exchange for my knowledge of Hollywood photography, they gave me a home, where I had to feast on human excrement for the past 2 weeks..."  
  
Chero: O.o "Uhhh.... THAT'S IT!!! I WAS gonna give you a chance, but you disgusting display of living the life as a domestic cockroach totally grossed me out!!"  
  
Adam West: "Are you challenging me to a fight?"  
  
(The scene magically skip to outside, on the grass)  
  
Adam West: "Well, you made your fist mistake. I will slap you around like Pamala Anderson at a Motley Crue Reunion Tour."  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
(Chero picks up a rock and pegs Adam in... his... genetalia)  
  
(Adam crumples in like an empty bubblegum wrapper)  
  
Adam West: (on the verge of tears) "A mighty and powerful warrior, indeed."  
  
Chero: (sighs) "Do i STILL hafta hire him?"  
  
HEP: "Hmmm... yes"  
  
Chero: "Shit"  
  
Adam: "And, thus, the mighty hath fallin'"  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Chero: "We're stopping!?!"  
  
HEP: "Nah, I feel like taking a slight intermission."  
  
Chero: "Oh, ok. Make sense to m- ...oooowwww!!!" (clutching his head.)  
  
HEP: "HOLY SHIT!!"  
  
(Chero collapses to the floor, holding his head.)  
  
Pika: "Chero, what's wrong?"  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
Roal: (looking on, interested)  
  
Chero: "... didn't think that I was gonna let you assholes have ALL the fun, do ya?"  
  
HEP: "Assholes? Holy crap! Nicholai!?!" O.O  
  
Roal: "Who's Nicholai"  
  
HEP: "Chero's Yami"  
  
Nicholai: (stands up and put hair into a ponytail) "Well, now... it seems that i got here just in time... I want a segment."  
  
HEP: "WHAT!?! Why?"  
  
Nicholai: "... I'll just hafta kill you then."  
  
Pika: "Ummm... let 'em have one."  
  
HEP: "Hmmm... alright... just ONE!"  
  
Nicholai: "Heh, I won't dissappoint" (bows)  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Setting: (A television commercial)  
  
Nicholai(V/O): "Kids, has this ever happened to you?"  
  
(Shows a buch of kids sitting around a tiny yellow robot, from a MegaMan video game, that's holding a smoking gun in his hand.)  
  
Kids: "MOM!!! Servbot commited suicide again!!"  
  
Nicholai: "Then your troubles are over! With our new, "Mail-Me Mokuba""  
  
Kids: ""Mail-Me Mokuba!?!" Wow, what's that?"  
  
Nicholai: "Its a special delivery service where we package up Mokuba Kaiba..."  
  
(Shows Nicholai sneaking into Mokuba's room and shoving him inside of a pillowcase)  
  
Nicholai: "...send him right to your door..."  
  
(Shows Mokuba, bound and gagged to a chair, with a postage stamp across his head)  
  
Nicholai: "...where he would be forced to be your slav-... er... did I almost say slave? I meant to say, 'willing house-servant.'" ^^  
  
(Show Mokuba cleaning up the kid's room with a electrical device on him head.)  
  
Mokuba: "Uh... where am I?"  
  
Nicholai: "Uh oh! I seems like he's breaking-up. That's why we included this handy 'Self-fix' device to him. Just push the button..."  
  
Mokua: "AAHHHHH!!!!"  
  
Nicholai: "All better!! Just send your name, address, cash/ money order, and your pathetic soul into a paperbag and leave it in a trashcan between the 'Crusty-Gates' retirement home and 'Payless Shoes' where your local 'mailman' will come and pick it up. you'll have mokua for a week before he has to leave and make other children as happy as you are... isn't that right, Mokuba?"  
  
Mokuba: "Uhhhggg... Am me able home go now?"  
  
(Nicholai slips the gag back on him)  
  
Nicholai: "That means, 'I Wuv you!' ^^ ORDER NOW!!!"   
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Pika: O.O  
  
HEP: O.o  
  
Nicholai: ^^ "That was fun!!"  
  
HEP: "Oh, yeah... I'm SOOO getting my ass kicked after this..."  
  
Nicholai: ^^ "That was the goal!!"  
  
Pika: "Eh-heh... sorry if any Mokuba lovers out there was reading that..."  
  
Nicholai: "Whinney bastard."  
  
HEP: ^^; "Yeah... he's not the friendliest person in the world."  
  
Nicholai: "That reminds me. Where's Malik. He owes me $5"  
  
Malik: "Five bucks that you took outta Chero's pocket!"  
  
HEP: "We'll settle this later..."  
  
Pika: "R&R!!" ^^;; 


	6. One story chap sorry

Nicholai: "Ownership of Yu-Gi-Oh! doesn't belong to us."  
  
HEP: "Why are you STILL here!?!"  
  
Nicholai: "'Cause."  
  
HEP: "Cause, what?"  
  
Nicholai: "'Cause"  
  
HEP: "... what happened to Roal?"  
  
Nicholai: "I took care of him." ^^  
  
HEP: "Lemme guess... when he held a gun to your head, you slipped past him, broke his arm, head butted him, and threw him into the closet. How close was i?"  
  
Nicholai: "Close... when he had a gun to my head, his cell phone rang so I kick him in the balls and threw him out your window."  
  
HEP: "Then, who's in the closet?"  
  
Nicholai: "The Pizza guy."  
  
HEP: O.O "What the hell is the Pizza guy doing in my closet?"  
  
Nicholai: "He ACTUALLY expected me to pay."  
  
HEP: "Where's Pika?"  
  
Nicholai: "I dunno."  
  
HEP: "DAMMIT! So, I'm stuck with you?"  
  
Nicholai: "And Adam West"  
  
HEP: "... my day couldn't be stranger."  
  
Adam West: (talking to a Temp.) "...and that's how I started the French Revolution."  
  
HEP: O.o;;  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Setting: (School)  
  
Scene: (Assisstant Principle West)  
  
(Adam throwing Joey out of his office)  
  
Adam West: "You sick little bastard... go back to class!"  
  
Yugi: (watching it) "Joey, what did you do?"  
  
Joey: "All I did was ask for a Schedule Change..."  
  
Adam: "Bring in the next one."  
  
(Yugi walks in)  
  
Yugi: "Umm... Mr. West-"  
  
Adam: "How do you know my language?"  
  
Yugi: "Huh?" O.o  
  
Adam: "Nevermind..."  
  
Yugi: "Ok...? Sir, lately people been doubting your abilities to lead this school while Principle Chero's gone..."  
  
Adam: "Sooo... what you seem to be asking me for is for me to "off" someone for you..."  
  
Yugi: "N-no, its just that..."  
  
Adam: (interrupts him) "Yes, I see... its been years since I had the pleasure of taking a life, but an old timer like me wouldn't have any trouble learning quickly. I remember my assassination plot against Ronald McDonald..."  
  
**--::FLASHBACK::::--**  
  
(A middle-aged Ronald McDonald is giving out gift to little kids)  
  
Ronald: "And remember kids, beg your parents for a Kids Meal, and sooner or later they'll break down and give you one."  
  
Kids: "YAY!!!"  
  
(Ronald is smiling until he sees a man on top of a building holding a Sniper Rifle)  
  
Ronald: "Holy Shit!!"   
  
(He dodges bullet after bullet until he makes his way into an empty allyway.)  
  
(He stands there, breathing hard.)  
  
Adam: (from the shadows) "Well, aren't you a sly little greaseball, my red-lipped buddy."  
  
Ronald: "OH NO!! Not you again!!"  
  
(He bolts outside and dives into a taxicab, with Adam West walking towards him, horror movie stye.)  
  
Ronald: (to the driver) "Floor it!!"  
  
(It speeds off, leaving Adam behind)  
  
Ronald: (sighs)  
  
Driver: "Yo, fatty. I need to stop for some gas."  
  
Ronald: "Go ahead."  
  
(The driver stops the car at a gas station and walks off.)  
  
(Someone comes into the car and starts driving off)  
  
Ronald: (not looking) "That was quick... take me to my house."  
  
(5 minutes later)  
  
Ronald: (looking around and find out the the car is headed to a cliff) "Hey, this isn't the way to my house!"  
  
Adam: "Of course it's not."  
  
Ronald: "Ah!!"  
  
(He tries to open the door, but it's locked shut)  
  
Adam: "Toodles!!"  
  
(Adam jumps out of the Taxi by the time the car reaches the edge of the cliff)  
  
Ronald: (driving off the ledge) "YOU MAY KILL ME, BUT TWO MORE WILL TAKE MY PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
**BOOOOOOM!!!!**  
  
**--::END FLASHBACK::--**  
  
Yugi: "..." O.o  
  
Adam: "..."  
  
**BOOM!!**  
  
(The door burst open and 3 guys in... Spanards suit run in.)  
  
Guy: "NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUIZITION!!"  
  
Yugi: O.O  
  
Adam: "Sooo... you finally caught up to me, but you will never foil my diabolical plot of exposing the world's youths to mindless celebrity cameos."  
  
(Adam runs and break through the window, into the parking lot)  
  
Adam: "Quick Robin! To the Batcave!"  
  
(Him and Robin Williams jump into the Batmobile and drive off.)  
  
{A/N: "... where the hell did Robin Williams come from?"}  
  
{Yugi: "I think he was trying out for the sequel of 'The Dead Poet's Society'"}  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Seto: "How come you're ending it here?"  
  
Pika: "Yeah, it's rather short."  
  
HEP: "I know, but i don't wanna go on until freaky, here, leaves" (points to Nicholai)  
  
Roal: (with an icepack on... him) "...oooowwww"  
  
Nicholai: "Well if you want me to leave, then ask."  
  
HEP: (sighs) "... will-"  
  
Nicholai: (sticks fingers into ears) "LALALALALALALALALALALALALA- if I didn't hear it, it never happened - LALALALALALALALALALALALALALA!!!"  
  
Pika: O.o;; "Errr... R&R!!"  
  
Roal: -.-  
  
Seto: O.o 


	7. Thanksgving vs The Virginator

Me no own Yu-Gi-Oh!! (Goddamn it's cold here!!!!!) (shivers)  
  
Chero: "Back!!" ^^  
  
Pika: "Welcome Back!!" ^^  
  
HEP: "Ugh, thank God. I thought I was gonna be stuck with Adam West alone for a month!"  
  
Chero: -.- "Nice to know that I'm needed"  
  
Roal: "Don't wory 'bout him. Adam's a bigger dumbass than you are."  
  
Chero: "That's possible?"  
  
Roal: "Apparently"  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Setting: (A Diningroom Table)  
  
Scene: (Thanksgiving with the entire "I'm Still Bored" cast)  
  
{A/N: This should go well..." O.o}  
  
(Everyone is gathered around the table and, after giving a solemn vowe NOT to kill each other, are about ready to eat.)  
  
**ding ding ding ding ding!**  
  
HEP (hitting the side of a glass with a spoon) "Attention, everybody!"  
  
(No one is shutting up)  
  
**ding ding ding ding ding!**  
  
HEP: "Yo, people! shut the hell up!!"  
  
(Everyone but Joey shuts up)  
  
Joey: "So, anyway. People were starting to run around, screaming because of the giant T-Rex chasing after them..."  
  
(HEP was starting to get pissed off, so he threw the glass at Joey and hit him in the face and shattered)  
  
Joey: "OOWWW, like, GOD DAMN!!! I think that there's a piece of glass up my nose now!"  
  
HEP: "Maybe it was for the best"  
  
Chero: "So, HEP, whatcha want?"  
  
HEP: "Oh, yeah. I wanna start this meal by everyone reciting what they are thankful for. Pika, you start."  
  
Pika: (stands up) "Ok! Errr... I'm thankful for Chero being back in time for Thanksgiving and... SUGAR!!" ^^  
  
Seto: "Are you more thankful for Chero or sugar?"  
  
Pika: O.O;; "Errr... I'll get back to you on that."   
  
Chero: -.- "Oh, yeah. I feel loved."  
  
Seto: "My turn. I'm thankful for my little brother, Mokuba, for not being here to witness me insulting almost everybody here and... i guess for HEP for giving me a more serious role in his fics."  
  
HEP: "Meh"  
  
Adam West: "I'm thankful for the Xenomorphs. Without them, I would've never know that saliva was an acidic substance capable of melting human flesh into a pile of mucus"  
  
Everyone: O.o  
  
HEP: "Okey-dokey, let's ignore him"  
  
Mai: "I'm thankful for the ability to cause so much pain to Joey and not get caught in jail."  
  
Everyone, but Joey: "Amen to that!"  
  
Joey: "... hate you."  
  
Mai: "Hate you more."  
  
Yugi: Ok... I'm thankful for all my friends... and Adam West for being here tonight so that we can all eat together."  
  
HEP: (whispers to Yugi) "You might wanna retake that comment in a couple of minutes"  
  
Yugi: "Understandable"  
  
Joey: "Well, I'm thankful for all the food that you forced all of us to cook so that you won't hafta."  
  
HEP: "My pleasure"  
  
Roal: "I'm thankful for the fact that I'm here, even though I had no part to do with this crap."  
  
HEP: "I'll take that as a complement." -.-  
  
Chero: "I guess that I'm thankful for the fact that you burned Denis Leary's invitation in the stove..."  
  
Everyone: "Hell yeah!" ^^  
  
Chero: "...and the fact that I heard that Nicholai broke your nose, Roal."  
  
Roal: "... if Lin didn't conficate my guns, you'd be bleeding outta more holes than HEP's storylines."  
  
HEP: "Hey, fuck you!"  
  
Chero: "Yo, HEP. I think that its your turn."  
  
HEP: "Oh. Well, I'm thankful for all the reviewer who... reviewed my stories and said that they loved it."  
  
Chero: "Minus a certain, unspeakable one."  
  
HEP: "... yeah... anyways. THANK YOU!!" ^^  
  
Chero: "So, is it time to eat yet?"  
  
HEP: "Dig in!!"  
  
(Once he said that, everyone started to go at the food in a massacre that would've made a Viking throw up)  
  
--**(30 minutes later)**--  
  
(Everyone is now enjoy some diner converations... well... MY type anyways.)  
  
Pika: "So, what do you think that the worst idea for Superhero names are out there?"  
  
Chero: "Hmm... I dunno"  
  
Roal: "I'd hafta say, 'Plastic Man' for the mid-eighties."  
  
Seto: "Why him?"  
  
Roal: "Well, when you think about it, 'Plastic Man' had the ability to stretch like rubber... buy he was PLASTIC!! Plastic doesn't stretch, it tears very easily! 'Rubber Man' would've made more since, but 'Plastic?'"  
  
Seto: "Hmm... I'd hafta say, 'Superman.' I mean, he's 'Super'... that's about it. Nowadays, you hear the word 'super' comming for a animated homosexual guy from South Park."  
  
Chero: "Yeah... that reminds me of 'The Human Torch.' I mean, the last flaming guy I every heard of never really lasted that long on TV. Plus saying 'Flame on!' really wore off the jokes."  
  
HEP: "Yeah, that 'Gay' thing wore off pretty quickly."  
  
Roal: "... and what's with superheroes and being named after animals. Like 'Spiderman' or 'Batman.' It's just too obvious."  
  
Chero: "Yeah, its just like calling Denis Leary 'The Pedophile.' or Joey 'Adolescence Boy'"  
  
Seto: "Or calling HEP 'Explosive Troll'" {A/N: "That was an inside joke from all of my friends."}  
  
HEP: "Hey, at least I'm not 'The Man Who Died a Virgin.'"  
  
Chero: "Hey, how 'bout. 'The Virginator'"  
  
Roal: "... or 'Master Bates' With the power to turn uglier than he originally was and having girls run away screaming, causing him to go home to his bottle of hand-lotion."  
  
Everyone but Seto: (laughing their asses off)  
  
Seto: "You way have won this one..."  
  
Roal: "That i surely did!!" ^^  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
HEP: "That was kinda fun!"  
  
Chero: "Yeah, reminds me of Thankgiving Dinner with your family."  
  
HEP: "Yeah, I remembered when my little sister called my big sister's roomates 'The Billy & Bobby Booty Buddies.'"  
  
Pika: O.o "I don't wanna know what that means"  
  
Chero: "Indeed you don't"  
  
HEP: "R&R!!" ^^  
  
Chero: ^^  
  
Pika: ^^  
  
{A/N: "HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!! Don't gain more than 3 pounds this year... or at LEAST try not to." ^^} 


	8. Season's Greetings From ME!

(Owning Yu-Gi-Oh! is something that I don't have the capability to do... thus i don't.)  
  
HEP: "Bored... bored... bored... bored... bored... bored... bored... bored..."  
  
Chero: "Do you even realize that you're typing that down?"  
  
HEP: "Isn't it obvious that I don't!!"  
  
Chero: "... okey-doke."  
  
Pika: "It's been awhile since you updated."  
  
Chero: "Yeah, I think it was Thanksgiving the last time."  
  
HEP: "Yeah, I've been preocupied with school work and Finals... BUT SCHOOL'S OUT, NOW!!!" ^^  
  
Chero: "That's why you're typing, huh?"  
  
HEP: "Si', my twisted amigo"  
  
Chero: "Using Spanish, too... didn't you bomb that test?"  
  
HEP: "I fuckin' Pearl Harbor-ed the test. Destruction was everywhere, many lives were lost, and I won't be the same again."  
  
Roal: "Ok, you shell-shocked freak. Lets just get to work."  
  
HEP: "Alrighty men! CHARGE!!!"  
  
Pika: O.o "I think he's having flashbacks to Vietnam, now."  
  
Chero: "Worse, the fall of the Roman Empire."  
  
HEP: "HAH!! I, at least, passed U.S. History!!" ^^  
  
{ }= Author comments  
  
********************************************************************************************  
  
Setting: (A French Resturant)  
  
Scene: (Festivities with Chero.)  
  
(The scene opens up with Chero sitting at the table, smiling like a dork, and facing the camera)  
  
Chero: (unconvincingly, but in a "happy-tone" ... fake as all Hell) "Oh, welcome, friends. I didn't see you come in. It's your pal, Chero, here. In this Special 'I'm Still Bored,' I'm gonna be helping you with a variety of problems that you would run into in your Chri- errr... I mean Winter Season." ^^  
  
(The Words "Chero's Chr- errr... None-Denominational Winter Season Special" appears on the screen. The "Christmas" part was crossed-out... badly.)  
  
Chero: "Now, lets start with a big one... crappy-ass gifts. Usually these are given by distant relatives, co-workers, or retarded boyfriends. Now, if you recieve a crappy gift, here are a few uses for them that your 'gift-giver' wouldn't know about... 1: clothing and fruitcakes make excellent firewood, donations to charaties, and weapons of mass destruction." ^^  
  
Seto: "Wait... weapons? How do you pull that off?"  
  
Chero: "Ever got choked by a home-knitted sweater? I know I have!"  
  
Seto: "Uh-huh... and the fruitcake?"  
  
Chero: "... I'd say something about the fruitcakes, but that joke's been over-used to death."  
  
Seto: "You mean the 'fruitcakes are fucking bricks' thing?"  
  
Chero: "Oh yeah, ever been hit by one of 'em?"  
  
Seto: "Nope."  
  
Chero: "Yeah, I have... my skull caved in..."  
  
Seto: "That might explain a few things..."  
  
Chero: "Shut-up and let me get back to my skit!"  
  
Seto: "Whatever" (walks out of camera-shot)  
  
Chero: (sighs and gets back to the cheesy smile) "Now, for problem #2!! Annoying relatives. They can arrange from: greasy & stupid Uncles, over-affectionate Aunts, and all the way up to 'out-of-touch with the realm of reality' Grandparents."  
  
(In walks Grandpa Simpson) {Me no own}  
  
Grandpa: "Hey, I remember you. You use to sale toilet paper to the Nazi's!"  
  
Chero: (to the audience) "... what'd I tell ya?" ^^;  
  
Grandpa: "Back in my day, whenever a Nazi was spotted we forced him to work at Walmart in the Express line... oh the joys of having to watch them try to ring up a candy bar with a messed up label, just like the time I took out my knees when I was fighting the Canadians in- ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ..." (Falls asleep standing up)  
  
Chero: "Here's a quick solution to that little problem... first make a cardboard cut-out of yourself..."  
  
(Screen zooms in on a crudely drawn cardboard cut-out of Chero that looks like HEP was trying to color it...) {"OK, I suck at drawing... and 'color by numbers' are hard!!" ;.;}  
  
Chero: "... make a recording of yourself on CD and loop it for the next couple of hours, while you make your great escape."  
  
(Chero smiles, than tosses the picture behind his shoulder like it was the location of the rest of Michael Jackson's face... somethings are just best left unknown... O.o)  
  
Chero: "Now last, but not least, the most common complaint about your Winter Season is..."  
  
**Whooosh!**  
  
**Thump!**  
  
(A figure wearing black clothing lands behind Chero, holding a Katana)  
  
Chero: (smiling like nothing's wrong with this picture) "... 'What-should-I-do-if-I'm-attacked-by-Ninjas?'" ^^  
  
(The ninja takes a fighting stance)  
  
Chero: "First, always be prepared. Bring along old pastries from last year that your Grandma made that everyone neglected to eat."  
  
(Chero whips out a crescent roll from his back pocket and throws it at the ninja... he was aiming for the stomach, but it pierced the ninja's leg instead. No complaints really.)  
  
Ninja: "OH DEAR GOD!! MY FUCKING LEG!!!"  
  
(The ninja falls to the ground and starts rolling around in pain and agony.)  
  
Ninja: "OH THE PAIN!!! THE AGONY!!!"  
  
(See...)  
  
Chero: (smiling) "Well, there you have it... I hope that my advice would help you in your Holiday Season..."  
  
Ninja: "IT'S IN THE BONE!! IT'S IN THE FUCKING BONE!!!!"  
  
*****************************************************************  
  
HEP: "Well now, that was... interesting."  
  
Chero: "Fun too"  
  
(Ninja takes off the mask and it turns out to be...)  
  
Joey: "Don't ever ask me to do that, again!"  
  
HEP: "Ummmm... no."  
  
Pika: ^^;; "Err... PR&RR!!"  
  
Chero: "What's with the 'P?'"  
  
Pika: "It means 'Please'"  
  
HEP: "... and the third 'R?'"  
  
Pika: "That's a typo" -_-  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
***====AUTHOR ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!!====***  
  
Since we aren't able to make "Author Announcements" separate chapters anymore, I might as well put it here.  
  
Christmas... one of the most KICK-ASS holidays in the year... and MY favorite. Not of the exchanging of gifts, but the heart that people put in trying to give their loved ones something that they would cherish for a long, long time. From Grantparents, to your best friend, to that old creepy guy who takes pictures of you in the shower (he's been really starting to piss me off lately) they all celebrate Christmas. The only ones who don't have their own holiday that they celebrate during this time, and forgive me if I don't go into that, but I'm part Catholic, so I don't know anything about you rituals or customs... sorry. ^^  
  
I come off as "Politically Incorrect," here, at home, so trying to be a "nice-guy" is something I struggle at. I'm trying to make a damn-good fic, here, so i really love it when people review it positively. When i recieved my first flame, it was because I wrote my own personal distaste for a certain relgious... thingy... and then made fun of it. I know it wasn't nice, but I would never change my mind about it, so, instead, I edited out those parts and re-posted it. That's me trying to be a "nice-guy." Not much, but it's something. ^^  
  
Holy crap, I went off the subject!  
  
Anyways, during this time, I usually think about the people I would love to be around... anyone but my family. I would give anything to be able to spend Christmas with my friends, but I guess I'm stuck here. Memories are something that I have trouble holding on to, so I asked for a camera for Christmas so I can keep those memories forever. ^^  
  
=Character Opinions About Christmas=  
  
Chero: "I hated Christmas. Why? Because it's the same day as my Birthday... and I never celebrated my birthday. I never, really, had anyone to celebrate it with... until nowadays. With my friends Pika, Rika, Chrio, Garaku, Birurri, & Syrix, I now have people to be around... friends... family" ^^  
  
Roal: "Christmas was the same day that I died... sucks really... that was the day that I wanted to give Lin a REAL wedding ring that I got her, but I died before that. I celebrated Christmas before, but I never really apretiated it... took it for granted like a lot of people do. I guess being dead doesn't make you any less human..."  
  
Lin: "Christmas? Never celebrated it. I'm Buddhist, so I never celebrated... still wouldn't if Roal didn't."  
  
Roal: "Heh." (smiles at her)  
  
Nicholai: "Christmas, eh. Heh, that is one thing I like about the humans. That is the time were the least amount of corrupting happens... seems to put them in a good mood for some reason. I'll probably never understand it, but at least less people piss me off during the season."  
  
===========================  
  
Well, there ya go. I hope all of you enjoy this holiday season and enjoy being around the people you love. Me, I'm gonna enjoy Christmas Eve at The Mall with my friends. (We make fun of all the last-minute shoppers ^^)  
  
Now, I leave you with a little song. With Roal on the Bass, Lin on the keyboard, and Chero on vocals, here is the best song that I ever heard in my life!!!   
  
Enjoy!! ^^  
  
****  
  
"My December" by Linkin Park  
  
"This is my December  
  
This is my time of the year  
  
This is my December  
  
This is all so clear  
  
This is my December  
  
This is my snow-covered home  
  
This is my December  
  
This is me alone  
  
and I--- (Just wished that I didn't feel like there was something I missed)  
  
and I--- (Take back all the things that I said I said to make you feel like that)  
  
and I--- (Just wished that I didn't feel like there was something I missed)  
  
and I--- (Take back all the things that I said to make you feel...)  
  
And I'd give it all away  
  
Just to get somewhere to go to.  
  
Give it all away  
  
To have somone to come home to.  
  
This is my December  
  
These are my snow-covered trees  
  
This is me pretending  
  
This is all I need  
  
and I--- (Just wished that I didn't feel like there was something I missed)  
  
and I--- (Take back all the things that I said I said to make you feel like that)  
  
and I--- (Just wished that I didn't feel like there was something I missed)  
  
and I--- (Take back all the things that I said to make you feel...)  
  
And I'd give it all away  
  
Just to get somewhere to go to.  
  
Give it all away  
  
To have someone to come home to.  
  
This is my December  
  
This is my time of the year  
  
This is my December  
  
This is all so clear----  
  
Give it all away  
  
Just to get somewhere to go to.  
  
Give it all away  
  
To have someone to come home to.  
  
Give it all away  
  
Just to get somewhere to go to.  
  
Give it all away  
  
To have someone to come home to.  
  
******  
  
(Chero puts down the mic, wipes a tear, and walks off stage... the rest follows shortly)  
  
-  
  
-  
  
-  
  
-  
  
HEP/Chero/Roal/Lin/Nicholai: "MERRY CHR--- errrr... HAPPY NON-DENOMINATIONAL WINTER SEASON!!" ^^  
  
-  
  
-  
  
- 


	9. Too Much TV

(Dude... owning YGO isn't something that I'm capable of... I CAN however do the Walking Man... yeah... not that impressive, ne?)  
  
Chero: "Where the hell were you?"  
  
HEP: "SORRY, SORRY!! Things kept coming up."  
  
Seto: "Look, you're a fanfic writer... you're not supposed to have a social life."  
  
HEP: "Shut your face!!"  
  
Chero: "..."  
  
Pika: "..."  
  
Seto: cough cough  
  
HEP: "Sooo..."  
  
Pika: "Wanna continue?"  
  
Chero: "Please"  
  
-  
  
-  
  
Setting: (In a damp Motel room) Scene: "Guess where I got the idea for this."   
  
A blindfolded man is being dragged into a dark room tied to a chair. The place reeked of copper, zinc, and whatever the hell else is on the Periodic table... Neon? Maybe Kool-aid, but I doubt it. Maybe... screw it.  
  
The man, "Maximillion Pegasus," was sleeping earlier that night, dreaming about a certain "King of Pop," when we was abducted from his room... though it only took the coaxing of a young Yugi Mouto (shudders), he was inevitably captured by the LA Lakers... it'll be explained later (like... never -).  
  
Now, we see him bound and gagged with his teddy bear, sweating profusely. He spits out "Mr. Twinkle-Nipple" and tries to call out to whoever snatched him away from his (rather disturbing and corrupting) dream.  
  
Pegasus: "What do you want from me?"  
  
Voice #1: "Oh, I think you know what we want. We want justice, judgment, and a pound of your finest Government Cheese."  
  
Pegasus: "If this is about those dead hookers in my locker room... I don't know WHAT they were doing in my Hotel suite."  
  
Voice #2: "... what did he say?"  
  
Voice #3: "Why would there be dead hookers in a locker."  
  
Voice #2: "Err... I'll explain later."  
  
Voice #3: "When?"  
  
Voice #2: "... just unmask him already. HEP's getting tired of typing, 'Voice.'"  
  
They removed the blindfold the bound Pegasus' eyesight, to reveal who the kidnappers were...  
#3-Pika, 2-Chero, and 1- Adam West!?!  
  
Adam: "Ok, we caught him, bound him, and got Kaiba to hire a couple of Lil' Bow-Wow's bodyguards to molest him... now what?"  
  
Chero: "Well, then we... wait! When did I ever tell you to molest him?"  
  
Adam: "... interesting inquiry there, little Robin..."  
  
Chero: "NEVERMIND!!! Forget it... I don't even want to know."  
  
Pegasus: "Why am I here?"  
  
Pika: "It seems that you've forgotten what you did to our poor buddy here..."  
  
She drags Mokuba Kaiba out from the shadows.  
  
Pika: "I think you remember now."  
  
Pegasus: "Ummm... I don't remember touching... I mean playing... with that one."  
  
Chero: "I don't think either statement would save you there."  
  
Mokuba: "No, this guy owes me 5 dollars"  
  
Pika: O.o  
  
Chero: "WHAT!! You pain us the same amount as the gross income of a crooked black market dealer just for a measly 5 bucks?"  
  
Mokuba: "And you posed around as a priest..."  
  
Chero: "Touch  
  
Pika: "What should we do with him?"  
  
Chero: "I know what I wanna do..."  
  
Chero flips out a single-bladed razor, picks up a tape recorder, and presses play. Chero starts spinning the razor around his fingers.  
  
Chero: "How many people have seen this movie?"  
  
Pika: "Well, normally someone else was singing..."  
  
Chero: "Sorry, all I can find was a tape of Richard Cheese singing 'Down with the Sickness.'"  
  
(If you've never heard it, you better. It's great!!)  
  
Chero continues his display of toying around with familiar movie memorabilia-ish scenes by dance towards Pegasus and gives a swipe to his cheek... drops of blood start falling.  
  
Pegasus' screams were cut short when a ball-gag was applied.  
  
Chero was about to continue, but then his cell phone starts to ring.  
  
Chero: "Crap, who is it now?"  
  
Chero picks up the phone...  
  
Chero: "Hello... yeah... yeah... alright. I'm in the next room. I'm coming..."  
  
He hangs up.  
  
Chero: "Sorry, by last client wants something in the other room. I'll be back."  
  
Adam: "What should we do with him?"  
  
Chero: "Ummm... make Pika leave to get some ice cream and call those 'bodyguard' buddies of yours."  
  
Pika: "What type?"  
  
Chero: "Whatever you want..."  
  
Mokuba: "What should I do?"  
  
Chero: "Go to the back yard and grab me a hose."  
  
Mokuba: "Ummm... ok?"  
  
Chero leaves the room to walk into the next one. This one has a giant hole placed at the bottom with a bucket hanging down it.  
  
Tea: "Let me outta here!!"  
  
Chero picks up a small poodle.  
  
Chero: "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose..."  
  
-  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----  
  
-  
  
Chero: "... WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?!"  
  
HEP: "Inspiration."  
  
Chero: "For the love of God, what were you watching to conjure THAT up!?!"  
  
HEP: "Guess..."  
  
Chero: "... you're twisted..."  
  
HEP: "Domo Arigato"   
  
Pika: O.o; "R&R!!" 


	10. This one's strange

(Dunno who owns YGO... too lazy to check... or even care about my own personal welfare...)  
  
Chero: "Dude, you look like crap."  
  
HEP: "Caught a cold, ok? I'm congested like the tabloids..."  
  
Roal: "I think that you're thinking of the wrong sickness... the tabloids seem to have, more or less, diarrhea."  
  
HEP: "Oh... what's congestion?"  
  
Pika: "I think it's appropriately called, the 'Sniffles'"  
  
Chero: "Wow... I learn something everyday."  
  
A/N! - - - "By any chance that I think that you might not understand one of my joke, I'm gonna place a {#) right next to it and an explanation will be revealed at the bottom. Since I seem to be accidentally putting in some inside-jokes... there might be quite a few."   
  
-  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------  
  
-  
  
Setting: (Outside of an Evil Lair)  
  
Setting: "Now this took serious amounts of crack to think up"  
  
V/O – Chero: "It's been twelve long weeks since we started this journey, but we finally made it to our destination. Though we've yet to be informed on WHY we've been put on this mission by Adam West (Though I'm starting to question the integrity of it) we successfully fought through hoards of Communists, Nazis, the "Lullaby League" {#1), and the ever elusive "Cake- Walk Man" {#2}."  
  
Chero: "Is anyone here starting to get that feeling that we walked into a trap?"  
  
Seto: "Was it the bamboo cage and pit with spikes in it a dead give-away?"  
  
V/O – Chero: "Even though we've barely dodged various obstacles, I still have high hopes that we may finish this mission with success."  
  
Chero: "Oh god we're screwed... we're totally fucked!!!"  
  
V/O – Chero: "... and by 'high hopes' I mean that I'm in enough turmoil and desperation to rival that of a well made angst fic."  
  
Seto: "Get a hold of yourself, idiot. Do you really think that the old man is paying us to do all this crap for nothing?"  
  
Chero: "Riiiiight... payment..."  
  
Seto: "... you DID get the money, right?"  
  
Chero: "By this "payment," you mean that I've collected funds a/k/a currency that will provide us with enough financial security to buy food that is actually AA regulation {3}, right?"  
  
Seto: "..."  
  
Chero: "... no"  
  
Seto: (sighs) "Well... idiot... we started, so might as well finish. I feel like eating this week."  
  
The two walk into the building were they are met by a group of monsters, creatures, abominations of nature, and a life-sized clone of John Wayne {4}.  
  
Chero: "So, these are the guys who... did whatever that we are the reason for being here."  
  
Seto: "I guess..."  
  
Chero: "Should we just beat them up, already?"  
  
Seto: "You want to?"  
  
Chero: "I was gonna reconsider it, but that horrible freak over there is giving me an awkward eye."  
  
John Wayne is gazing at Chero, while smoking a cigarette, with eyes the either say "I want you" or "I'm constipated."  
  
The two boys jump at the group, flailing around weapons and gadgets that would make any fanfic writer out there convulse if they were supposed to type down in very graphic detail what they were. Well... this narrator would because he is lazy and you wouldn't be reading this chapter anytime soon.  
  
--- We interrupt this battle scene for a quick note from the author!! ---  
  
Due to the fact that this fanfic doesn't provide us with enough money to even TRY to make an explosive fight scene, we are forced to pop in a tape containing an ancient episode of, "Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger." Please make due with our poor attempt at this... if it's any consolation, it'll broadcast in Dolby Digital!!{5}  
  
-  
  
-  
  
Setting: (The cast sitting watching the scene told above in the safety of their trailers)  
  
Pika: "Wow, HEP got pretty cheap on this chapter."  
  
Chero: "Yeah, the availability of money is becoming a lot scarcer around the house."  
  
Roal: "True, I caught him stealing money out of his nephew's piggy bank."  
  
HEP: "That kid has years ahead of him to look forward to college."  
  
Roal: "Especially if he takes after you."  
  
HEP: "God help him if that's true."  
  
They stare at the TV.  
  
Seto: "I still don't understand how this show became popular in the U.S. Really, the thought of having a group in tight; multi-colored spandex with access to huge cardboard mechs doesn't make me feel safe from the tyranny of evil transsexuals with possible identity problems... not to mention undying persistence." {6}  
  
Pika: "Y'know, for someone who doesn't have the money to pay for battle scenes, he's able to write out in explicit detail on the subject matter of only a bad TV show."  
  
Chero: "Well... wait, our scene is back up."  
  
-  
  
-  
  
Scene: "Back to the other one"  
  
Chero: "Now that the harsh battle is over, what are we doing now?"  
  
Adam West appears behind the two.  
  
Adam: "Time to reclaim my prize."  
  
Adam reaches down and picks the pocket of a re-dead John Wayne. Chero and Seto look over his shoulder.  
  
Chero: (blinks) O.O  
  
Seto: -.- "You have got to be kidding me... you did all this to get back your crappy Bishoujo Game?" {7}  
  
Adam: "I think that it was well worth it."  
  
Seto: "You're a sick old man..."  
  
-  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------  
  
-  
  
Chero: "I feel so used"  
  
Seto: "You remembered the money, right."  
  
Chero: "Yes..."  
  
Pika: "Wow... that must've sucked for you guys."  
  
HEP: "Well... I'd type more, but I'm getting a little tired of typing."  
  
Pika: "R&R!!"  
  
======================  
  
{1} – Those munchkins from Wizard of Oz are creepy.  
  
{2} – I had to direct a Cake Walk... heh... I rigged all of them so that my friends won.  
  
{3} – AA regulation? You tell me...  
  
{4} – I don't like Westerns  
  
{5} – Anything's better in Dolby Digital!!!   
  
{6} – I had an hour long discussion about this at one point in English class... it was a slow day.  
  
{7} – I'd do it... ;; 


End file.
